


My Love Will Never Die

by lunasenzanotte



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Angst, Blood, Blood Drinking, Dystopia, Human/Vampire Relationship, M/M, Pre-Apocalypse, Unhealthy Relationships, Vampire Bites, Vampires
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:20:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21963463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunasenzanotte/pseuds/lunasenzanotte
Summary: In the pre-apocalyptic world plagued by electric storms, where everyone has to fend for themselves, Paulo turns to his last option - he seeks out a vampire and sells his own blood to him. He gets more out of the deal than he expected.
Relationships: Federico Bernardeschi/Paulo Dybala
Comments: 53
Kudos: 43





	1. Paulo

**Author's Note:**

> I started to write this thing at 2 AM during a summer storm when I couldn’t sleep, and I almost discarded it. Then @furiousflamewolf picked it up from the trash and made it angstier than I dared before, and I simply had to write it.
> 
> Title taken from the song by Claire Wyndham, which is kind of a soundtrack for this fic.

The air smells of rain and electricity. The storm that’s about to start almost makes Paulo happy about spending the night here and not in a house with an old roof full of holes. The house - or rather mansion - he is standing in front of looks like it could protect him from more than just a storm. Nobody would probably try to break into this house, even if it wasn’t owned by who Paulo knows it’s owned by.

The distant sound of thunder makes him finally raise his hand and knock on the massive, dark wood door. He would kind of expect a fancy knocker on it, but there’s none. The wood is so thick and solid that even though his knuckles hurt a bit, it sounds like a small child knocking.

Just when he’s about to try and use his fist this time, the door opens, revealing a young man. He’s wearing a pristine white shirt, carefully pressed, but the sleeves are rolled up above his elbows and the first button is undone, which gives him an artfully disheveled look. He looks surprisingly _normal_ for what he is.

“Paulo, right?” he asks.

Paulo nods. The man smiles.

“I’m Federico,” he says. “Come in.”

Paulo takes a deep breath and walks inside. The interior looks very different from the outside. It’s not scary at all. It reminds Paulo of a museum a little bit, but it’s warmer and cozier. There is a thick carpet on the floor in the large hallway, and patterned wallpaper on the walls. Fire is crackling somewhere.

Federico shows him to a smaller room to the side of the hallway. There are books, books everywhere. Leather-bound, thick tomes, and then tiny ones, some with golden lettering on them. Paulo has never seen so many of them. Nobody really owns books nowadays. He barely notices when Federico closes the door.

“Let’s have a talk first,” he says.

“A talk?” Paulo looks at him. He surely didn’t come here to talk.

Federico nods. “I hope you didn’t expect me to jump on you the moment you’d walk in, and suck your blood immediately, did you?”

Paulo shakes his head, but he’s aware of it being very unconvincing. He _so did_ expect just that.

“Have a seat,” Federico says and points to the sofa that looks a bit like a large throne. Paulo would be afraid to sit on such a thing, but Federico is treating it like it’s a regular piece of furniture. It probably is for him.

“Do you have any experience with this?” he asks like it’s a completely natural thing, having blood sucked by a vampire.

“I… um… I had my blood drawn a couple times?” Paulo offers.

Federico nods with a slight smile, and Paulo gets the feeling that he is pretending to take it for a valid answer only to spare Paulo the embarrassment, because they both know that his answer was completely stupid. “Fine. Well, I wouldn’t really compare the two procedures, it’s… a lot different, actually. But it’s a start. It’s alright.”

Paulo is trying hard not to stare at Federico’s teeth. It’s not like they are too prominent, actually, he can barely tell there’s a difference when Federico speaks, and they can fit just perfect inside his mouth, not like in those ridiculous cartoons where vampires have their teeth out all the time. He can only see the sharp tips when Federico smiles, but unfortunately, he seems to smile a lot.

“Now, before we begin,” Federico says and pours water into a crystal glass. “Do you have any questions that you want me to answer?”

Paulo just stares at him as Federico hands him the glass.

“Drink. You need to drink before you have your blood drawn, you should already know that,” he says and winks at him. “So, anything you’d like me to explain?”

Paulo raises the glass to his lips. He’s got a lot of questions on his mind. The main one is how he got to this point, sitting in a rich vampire’s mansion, ready to have his blood sucked for money.

“How you got to this point?” Federico chuckles, and Paulo just gulps. “Having your blood sucked for money… well, if it makes you feel any better, I ask myself this question a lot as well.”

“You?”

Federico smirks and folds his arms. “How did we come to this? Having to pay to feed? Actually begging humans to let us suck their blood?”

“You’re not begging me, I came myself.”

“I’ll be begging soon enough, darling, when you start having second thoughts,” Federico says calmly and smiles indulgently at Paulo’s offended face. “I’ve done this enough times to know what to expect. So… do you have any real, not so philosophical questions that we need to answer to move on?”

Paulo lifts his eyes to him. There is something pleasantly stoic and calming about the vampire, almost hiding the unsettling dark aura. “Does it hurt?” he asks.

“Now, that’s a practical question,” Federico smiles, almost like he’s praising him. “Not so easy to answer, though. Some people find it painful, yes. Some find it… enjoyable. Thrilling, even. It depends on a lot of factors. It depends on you a great deal.”

“Me?” Paulo blinks. “Like… my pain tolerance?”

“That too,” Federico nods. “Also, if you stay as tense as you are now, it’s going to hurt. I can tell you that.”

Paulo just shrugs. He’s not really tense because of where he is and who he is with. He feels like this is the way he is, this is his way to survival. One has to always expect the worst, and in the world that is outside this house, he can never truly relax.

“What about the money?” Federico raises his brows. “Shouldn’t that interest you the most?”

Paulo nods. It should, but somehow, he only remembers it now. It’s like all of this, the house and Federico, and the fact that he is safe from whatever is waiting outside, overwhelms him so much that he forgets about the true reason why he is here. Federico, on the other hand, sounds like a true businessman. Or rather, he has his own routine already. After all, he’s not doing it for the first time. For Paulo, it’s quite new.

“I dare to say it’s a lucrative trade,” Federico says. “Up to one thousand five hundred, depending on how much you let me…”

“Fine,” Paulo interrupts him before he can finish. He’s willing to do this. Not so willing to discuss it in detail.

“Fine means that you agree with the rate?” Federico asks, an amused smirk tugging at his lips again.

“Yes. I’m in.”

Federico nods. Paulo isn’t sure if he is happy about it or not. Most likely, it’s not a big deal for him. Paulo guesses that there isn’t a shortage of people willing to do this for money now.

“So we can start,” Federico says. “Are you wearing any silver?”

Paulo blinks confusedly. “No, I… oh, yes. Yes.” He reaches under his sweatshirt and pulls out the silver chain. He never takes it off, and sometimes even forgets about it. It’s easy to forget about something he has to keep out of view not to have it stolen, or worse. People are getting killed for less these days.

“May I ask you to remove it for now?” Federico asks. “I promise nothing will happen to it.”

Paulo nods and struggles with the clasp for a while before taking the chain off and putting it on the small table.

“Is that all?” Federico asks.

Paulo nods, almost laughing at the question. If he had more silver, he certainly wouldn’t be here.

“I’m going to be touching you now,” Federico says. “I need to find the best spot for the… procedure. Nothing bad is happening to you yet, alright?”

“Yeah,” Paulo breathes out.

“Nothing bad’s happening,” Federico repeats, and Paulo feels his heartbeat slow down a little bit. “You may close your eyes if you want to.”

Paulo doesn’t know if he wants to, but it seems like the better option. He closes his eyes and tries to concentrate on his breathing.

Federico turns his head to the side and runs his fingers down his neck. A sudden sound of thunder makes Paulo almost jump up. The room doesn’t have windows. It must be muffled a lot, but it’s still loud enough to give him goosebumps.

“You’re safe here,” Federico whispers, and Paulo would swear that the following touch wasn’t an explorative one, but rather a little caress. “You’re safe. Nothing can happen to you here.”

The sound of crackling logs in the fireplace, the warmth of the room and the gentle touches indeed make him feel safe and comfortable like he hasn’t felt in ages. His body feels heavy and he feels like he could fall asleep right now. It would be a terrible idea, of course, but it would be also great. Paulo feels like he’s not gotten a full night of sleep since… well, since he’s been in this city on his own.

Federico is mumbling something, probably to himself, but it’s strangely calming. Paulo forgets about the storm completely, and if there’s more thunder, he doesn’t hear it.

“Look at me now.”

The words register somehow sharper, and he opens his eyes. The feeling of warmth and heaviness disappears. _You bastard_ , he thinks.

“Now, now,” Federico chuckles. “Considering how tense you are, you are surprisingly easy to hypnotize.”

“I didn’t agree to that!” Paulo snaps.

“It was a complimentary service,” Federico says calmly. “Drink a bit of water.”

Paulo glares at him, but picks up the glass and takes a few sips before laying it back down. The last remnants of drowsiness melt away.

“Here’s the deal, Paulo,” Federico says. “There is one good spot about here…”

Paulo resists the urge to jump up when Federico runs a finger down his chin and presses down somewhere under his jaw.

“But you’d have to keep your head tilted back for me to reach it, and it would be very uncomfortable and painful.”

“It’s fine,” Paulo mumbles. “I…”

“Or…” Federico interrupts him. “There’s another spot. Right here, sort of behind your ear. That would be easier, and probably less painful, you just can’t lie down the usual way. But the decision is yours.”

“Okay,” Paulo whispers. 

Federico raises his brows. “Okay means what?”

“That we’ll do the… behind my ear.” Federico requiring him to state everything so clearly is starting to get on Paulo’s nerves. It’s like Federico needs his consent to every single thing. As if he didn’t already give that consent by walking in here.

“Fine,” Federico says and before Paulo can say anything, he’s sitting on the sofa next to him. “Turn the other way. Away from me.”

Paulo is kind of grateful for it, because that way, he’s not going to actually see it happening. He fixes his gaze on a picture hanging above the fireplace. It’s a landscape that doesn’t look familiar in the slightest, but it’s the least scary thing to look at. Federico wraps an arm around his waist and pulls him closer.

“Tell me when you’re ready,” he says.

Paulo feels like he’s not ready at all, that he will never be ready. Federico, on the other hand, seems to be surprisingly calm and patient. If he’s excited to drink Paulo’s blood, he doesn’t let it show. He merely holds Paulo in his arms, and after a while, it doesn’t feel as scary anymore.

“I’m ready,” Paulo whispers.

“Good,” Federico says and pushes his head down a little bit.

Paulo feels his fingers rubbing the intended spot behind his ear, and shivers a little bit.

“It’s going to hurt at first,” Federico says. “Try to hang on, it will get better.”

“Okay.”

It hurts perhaps less than he expected. He manages not to scream, he doesn’t even move. After a while, the pain indeed subsides a little bit, it’s just the strange feeling, or rather knowing that he has a vampire’s teeth stuck in his neck. He keeps looking at the painting of the landscape until he feels like he could paint it from memory.

After what feels like eternity, he feels his heart beating faster and his head starts to hurt a little bit. Federico pulls his teeth out.

“Enough?” he asks.

Paulo doesn’t really get why he’s asking him, until he remembers his words from earlier. _Up to one thousand five hundred, depending on how much you let me…_

He takes a deep breath and grips Federico’s forearm for support. “Go on,” he says,

“Darling, if you want the full price, I’ll keep going right on the edge,” Federico says softly. “I won’t take _too_ much, but you might pass out for a little bit. You should know what you’re agreeing to. Or we can stop now.”

“No,” Paulo whispers. “Go on.”

Again, if Federico is excited about the prospect, he doesn’t let it show. He just pulls Paulo even closer and then rises a hand to his face. Paulo blinks confusedly. He didn’t even realize that he was crying.

“Don’t worry,” Federico whispers. “It has to do with the nerves I’m hitting, it’s all connected. It’s just a simple reaction, nothing to do with your emotions.”

Paulo nods and wipes the rest of the tears himself before trying to get more comfortable in Federico’s strange embrace.

“You’re doing great,” Federico praises him before sinking his teeth in his neck again.

Paulo wishes he could say something to it, but he is too tired to even speak, and his mind is too slow to come up with any coherent thoughts. He lets go, closing his eyes and giving in to the illusion of falling into a never ending abyss.

~ ~ ~

When he opens his eyes again, he’s lying on the sofa, covered by a woolen plaid. The fire is crackling louder now. The air in the room is slightly warmer.

“How are you feeling?”

Paulo turns his head carefully. Federico is sitting in one of the armchairs, watching him. He doesn’t look any different than before, maybe just his eyes are glimmering a bit more.

“Fine,” Paulo mumbles. “Considering.”

The spot behind his ear hurts a little bit, but it’s no worse than a cut. He just feels tired, incredibly tired. And a bit cold.

“The wound will heal quickly,” Federico says. “You don’t need to worry.”

Paulo nods and tries to lift himself up on his elbows. His head spins, telling him it’s not the best idea.

“I don’t want to sound like I’m telling you what to do, or that I’m keeping you here against your will, but you might want to rest a little,” Federico says.

“Are you this nice to everyone?” Paulo asks. Maybe it has to do with Federico being rich, maybe a member of some sort of vampire aristocracy - after all, Paulo knows from several accounts that some of the vampires who offer money for blood live in much sketchier places, and have much lower rates. As a nobleman, he probably would have some moral code, or simply… manners.

Federico smiles and makes himself a bit more comfortable in the armchair. “Everyone doesn’t go all the way in,” he says. “The storm is not over anyway. It wouldn’t be wise to go out now.”

This is an argument Paulo doesn’t have an answer to. If Federico didn’t insist, he would probably beg him to let him stay.

“So, how did you really get to this point?” Federico asks.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I figured you’re not a bored teenager who wants to buy a scooter for the money,” Federico says. “Nor a daredevil doing it for the thrill. That’s not the impression you’re giving me.”

“What impression am I giving you?”

Federico reaches for the glass on the table. It contains some amber-colored liquid. “I think you’ve seen things,” he says slowly. “Bad things. I think you’re trying your best to survive in this world, but you are still a bit lost anyway.”

“There are no rules,” Paulo whispers. “What works now might not work tomorrow. This wasn’t an option a week ago. Then it became the only option.”

Federico nods and sips on his drink. “So what will the money buy you?”

Paulo shrugs. “Things. Food, candles…” He realizes that it sounds stupid, but as things are now, the money he made tonight will probably be gone in a week or two. If he manages not to get it stolen.

“Is there no other way to make money?”

“No safer way.”

“I noticed,” Federico nods. “The feeling of safety is the key for you.”

“Unfortunately, safety is a rare commodity now. I can’t buy it even with your money… well, I can buy a little bit of it. For some time.”

It feels strange to be telling this to someone. It feels strange to even talk to someone at all. People he meets every day, they live in this reality, and they are not willing to talk about it. Federico, however, seems to be very interested in it. Paulo supposes that his life is much different, either because it’s so secluded, or because he is… well… a vampire. Vampires nowadays have no enemies, simply because people are too busy trying to survive to be concerned about them, and because vampires don’t do them harm. On the contrary, they are keeping some of them alive… like Federico now.

“Can I come again?” Paulo asks after a long while of silence. “Can we do this again?”

Federico raises his brows. “You’re the first one to ask,” he says. “It’s usually a one-time thing.But… I guess we could do this again, after some time.”

Paulo nods. He feels slightly calmer. After all, it would be better to do this with someone he already knows, and who pays a good price and doesn’t throw him out like trash once they’re done… He suddenly realizes that Federico can read his thoughts and shoots an uneasy look at him. If he was reading his mind, Federico doesn’t let it show.

“I think the storm is fading away,” he says, although Paulo can’t hear anything else than the fire in the fireplace. “I’ll get you your money.”

Paulo nods and watches him get up and open a door at the other side of the room. It’s dark and Federico doesn’t switch any light on, so he can’t make out what lies in there. He throws the plaid aside and sits up carefully. Federico returns a moment later and puts a stash of money on the table, right next to Paulo’s silver chain.

“Thank you,” Paulo says.

“No, thank _you_ ,” Federico smiles, fangs making a short appearance. “I know you probably can’t say the same, but it was my pleasure.”

Paulo actually smiles and then picks up the chain, putting it around his neck and tucking it under his sweatshirt. Then he takes the money and thinks of the safest place to put it in. He doesn’t have that many options, so he splits it in half and puts it in his pockets, hoping that nobody will suspect he’s carrying anything valuable.

Federico walks him to the door, and even checks that it’s safe to go outside before saying goodbye to him.

The sun is rising. The city is eerily quiet, as always after a storm. He notices the fresh damage, although the traces of the previous storm aren’t yet gone either. The electric storms are becoming more and more frequent, and people have other problems than fixing up things that will be broken again anyway. He navigates through the empty streets, sometimes having to avoid fallen branches, cables or rubble.

He stops when his instincts tell him to stop, and looks at a huge pile of debris, bricks, plaster, and plates of metal that once used to be the roof, all barely contained by the half-fallen walls. Only then he realizes what he’s looking at. The pile of debris is his house, the house he would have chosen as shelter last night, had he not gone to sell his blood to a vampire.

He crouches on the ground and tries to breathe deeply, because he suddenly feels dizzy and nauseous, and he’s certain that it’s not because of the missing blood.


	2. Federico

Federico doesn’t recognize the boy at first, not in the daylight and not in the whole scuffle. It’s a small, peculiar thing, actually, that makes him remember. One of the men surrounding him in this very unfair fight reaches up to the boy’s neck, and rips something off it. Federico recognizes the silver chain before the man - or maybe still a boy as well - runs away with it.

“I advise you to stop, gentlemen,” Federico says.

They do notice him, but what meets the eye is not enough to scare them away. The man holding the boy against the wall of some abandoned building barely looks in his direction before turning his attention back to the boy and the contents of his pockets. Federico grabs him by the neck and twists.

The crunching sound is sickening, even to him, even after all those years. It is certainly horrifying for the men, who scatter like frightened sheep before Federico even has time to flash them a fanged smile. They probably realized what he was anyway by this point.

The boy is shivering on the ground, probably not even aware that the men are gone already. He’s hiding his face behind the frayed and torn sleeves of his once white sweatshirt. Federico makes a step towards him.

“Paulo,” he says softly.

Paulo lifts his eyes to him when he hears his name, and a little bit of the fear vanishes from his face when he recognizes him. Federico holds out his hand and when Paulo takes it, he hauls him up to his feet.

“Are you hurt?” he asks, steadying the boy.

Paulo shakes his head. “No, I’m fine.”

Federico lets go of the boy’s arm and takes off his coat. “Take this,” he says and throws it over Paulo’s shoulders.

“I’m fine,” Paulo repeats, but pulls the coat closer.

“I’m not saying that you aren’t,” Federico says calmly. “I’ll take you somewhere safer. Come.”

He’s not even trying to hypnotize the boy this time, but the word “safer” seems to be a trigger nonetheless. Paulo nods weakly and doesn’t even object when Federico puts an arm around his waist. Even through the thick woolen coat, Federico can feel his bones.

~ ~ ~

“Did you know them?” Federico asks, pouring water in the kettle and setting it over the fire. “The men who attacked you?”

Paulo shakes his head. “Robbers, like any others. It’s a common thing now. They hunt in packs.”

Federico raises his brows at the casual way Paulo talks about them, using vocabulary that would be more suitable for animals. After what he witnessed today, though, he wouldn’t think about them otherwise.

The scratch on Paulo’s neck where the chain was ripped off is bleeding, and it’s more than distracting. Federico dabs at it with a wet cloth, resisting the urge to lick it instead. There are instincts, and then there are _manners_ , and he always tries to put manners first.

“Was it important?” he asks. “The chain?”

Paulo shrugs, curling up on himself. “I guess not. What is even important now?”

“Acknowledging your feelings, perhaps?” Federico smiles. “You say a lot of things you want to believe, but that you’re not feeling. Like that you’re fine. Or that the chain wasn’t important to you.”

Paulo laughs humorlessly. “Why is that important? I’m not getting the chain back, and I may not be fine on my own, but I have no choice.”

Federico sighs and puts another log in the fireplace after he removes the kettle and pours the tea into a porcelain one, a part of a tea set he rarely uses himself anymore. Maybe this is one reason why the humankind is running towards its end at a high speed now, and the vampires thrive more than ever. Unlike humans these days, vampires can get by just fine without electricity, gas and petrol. They had to do it for centuries. The boy sitting on his sofa doesn’t look like he could start a fire even if Federico gave him matches.

“What if you had a choice?” he asks, turning back to Paulo.

“What choice?”

“You asked me back then if we could do it again. What if we could do it again? And I mean, not once, but… regularly.”

Paulo looks at him. “What do you mean?”

Federico pours him a cup of tea and hands it to him, then sits in an armchair and smiles. “I’m offering you a deal. A safe place to stay, all your needs catered to, in exchange for your blood.”

Paulo just keeps staring at him. “The safe place is meant to be… this house?”

Federico smiles. “It’s not much, but…”

Paulo laughs and sips on the tea. “If this is _not much_ by your standards, then I would like to see what is enough. Probably Versailles.”

“Versailles is obnoxious,” Federico says. “I’ve been there a couple times, it’s a disgusting place full of disgusting people… or was, some centuries ago.”

Paulo just stares at him, apparently speechless. Well, it does happen to people when they are confronted with the reality of what Federico really is - when it’s suddenly not just the fangs, but the burden of all the years and knowledge that he’s carrying inside.

“You don’t have to decide now,” he says. “I understand that you had a hard day, and I wouldn’t want to pressure you, because it’s an important decision. No matter what you do next, you can stay the night, of course.”

“Thank you,” Paulo whispers.

“Drink the tea,” Federico says and gets up. “I’ll find you some clothes that are…” He pauses to find a tactful way to say that he wants to burn everything that is on Paulo’s body right now. “Warmer.”

~ ~ ~

The house is dark and quiet, save for the crackling of the fire and the ticking of the antique clock hanging in the salon, so quiet that only Federico hears it, because he knows it’s there. It’s a night like every other, but he can feel the difference in every fiber of his body. The presence of someone, someone _living_ , changes everything.

There is something pure about the boy, something that draws him in, and he can’t quite explain it. The way he hangs onto life and navigates the ruins of it is heartbreakingly amusing. Federico has had centuries to contemplate this, and he has come to the conclusion that nihilism was truly a vampire trait. Humans could for the most part always find even the smallest of reasons to hang onto life.

Federico lays down the glass of bourbon, one of the small luxuries he allows himself, even though he otherwise lives quite a simple life for who he is. He gets up and walks to the staircase leading to his bedroom and guest rooms that were all empty for decades, until tonight. It is quiet outside, a rare night with no electric storm, no fires raging in the town, no desperate voices.

The door to the guest room he gave Paulo is closed. Federico considers tiptoeing to it, maybe trying to push the handle, before the manners prevail once again. _A gentleman should always respect other gentleman’s privacy_ , Federico’s father used to tell him. Not like anything that was going on in their house was really private; Federico knew all of his father’s mistresses by name and also knew that the family doctor coming to visit his mother ever so often wasn’t truly dealing with any physical sickness of hers other than her broken heart and lonely soul, but he’s learned to respect the privacy, to turn a blind eye to it all. Deep in his soul, he despised it all. Deep in his heart, he longed for pure love he desperately wanted to believe could still exist in this world, and all those long centuries of his existence, he’s never stopped looking.

He believes he might have found it now.


	3. Federico and Paulo

The sun rises pale and cold. Although hundreds of years mean nothing in the life of a star, Federico can’t shake off the feeling that he remembers the sun shining differently from when he was young and still alive. Or maybe it’s his perception that has changed. Truth is that the Earth is changing, there’s something wrong happening and so far, nobody’s figured out how to stop it. Paulo’s presence in Federico’s house is just another confirmation of that.

Federico hears the steps on the staircase. Then they stop, as Paulo is probably trying to figure out where to go. When he appears at the door of the dining room, Federico has to smile.

He’s wearing a soft cotton T-shirt and sweatpants, clothes that Federico acquired when it occurred to him that he should blend in with people more, but then didn’t find the courage to wear something so lousy. His hair is tousled, sticking out in all directions as he washed it before going to bed. The scratch on his neck has stopped bleeding, so thankfully it’s not going to distract Federico during their conversation.

“Tea?” he asks.

Paulo nods and sits on the upholstered chair. There is a bruise on his right cheekbone, which Federico only notices now that it had time to fully blossom. Federico pours tea into the porcelain cup and pushes it to him.

“I thought about… your offer,” Paulo says quietly. “You meant I could live here… and pay with my blood, correct?”

“Yes,” Federico nods. “Live here, and of course I’d provide you with all necessities… even money in case you’d need it, but I doubt money will be of any importance to you. You wouldn’t need to leave the house if you didn’t wish so, but of course I wouldn’t hold you a prisoner. As long as you give me what I need, you’d be free to do as you please.”

“But… how much blood?” Paulo looks at him. “I mean…”

“I don’t need blood every day, you don’t need to worry,” Federico smiles. “Generally, we need to feed once a month, if we get the full dose… which, of course, won’t be the case.”

Paulo certainly looks relieved.

“I would say once a week a reasonable amount, that could be doable. If you’d be up for that.”

“Fine,” Paulo breathes out. “I take it.”

Federico knows that he’s probably grinning like a mad fox, but he can’t help himself. “Perfect,” he says. “You can keep the room you had for tonight, or pick any other… all the house is at your disposition. Feel like at home.”

“Home,” Paulo repeats like he doesn’t know the word. Or like he hasn’t said it for a long, long time.

~ ~ ~

The storm starts when Paulo is about to switch off the lamp.

Normally, the lamp would be the first thing to warn him, since the upcoming storm always causes lights to flicker, almost like it is stealing the electricity to fuel itself, like it’s _feeding_ on it. But Federico’s house runs on gas, ancient gas lights Federico never got rid of, and it was the wisest decision he could have made. The danger that comes with it is incomparably smaller now. What is a possibility of carbon monoxide poisoning to the certainty of an imminent fuse that could burn you alive inside your house. If Paulo could choose, he would prefer the former.

The first thunder catches him off guard. The glass rattles in the window frame, and Paulo cowers instinctively. Things would fall around him during storms, he got used to it. Once a whole shelving in the house he was hiding in collapsed right on him. Luckily, it was so old that it broke into pieces before it really hit him, but it still hurt like hell and he spent the next few days crawling around.

Nothing falls this time. Federico’s house seems to be much more solid than the modern buildings, which are just plaster and paper. Paulo climbs into bed and tries to calm down. It takes three more thunders for him to give up. He kicks off the blanket and gets up.

The house is quiet, but there is a stripe of light coming from underneath the door of Federico’s room. Paulo follows it like a moth, and after a moment of hesitating, he knocks.

Federico is sitting on the sofa. There is a book in his lap and a glass of the amber colored liquid on the table. Paulo doesn’t understand how someone could just calmly read with the hell breaking loose outside.

“Sorry if I interrupted you…” Paulo says. “You were reading.”

“A book I’ve already read twice,” Federico smiles. “What’s the matter?”

“I can’t sleep,” Paulo whispers.

“Because of the storm?” Federico asks and makes more space on the sofa next to him.

Paulo nods and sits next to him, glancing mistrustfully at the glass on the table. Federico follows his gaze.

“Do you drink?” he asks.

Paulo shrugs. He only tasted alcohol a couple times in his teens. Then it became a commodity he didn’t want to spend money on. Later on, it cost more money than he ever had. People were willing to pay a lot to forget about the world around them.

Federico gets up and takes another glass from the bar. It’s full of fancy looking bottles and crystal glasses. Some people would kill to get their hands on its content.

“It might help you with sleeping,” he says and pours a bit of the liquor in the glass.

Paulo lifts the glass to his lips. The liquor smells sweet and not unpleasant. Which is why it catches him by surprise when it burns his throat and leaves a bitter aftertaste in his mouth.

“Takes a while to get used to,” Federico smiles.

“I prefer not to,” Paulo mumbles and puts the glass down.

A thunder sounds outside, muffled by the double windows, but still loud enough to make the glass vibrate again. Paulo pushes his body as deep into the cushions as he can, and pulls his knees to his chest.

“You’re scared of the storms,” Federico states. “There’s a bad memory connected to them.”

Paulo makes a face. “Did you read that in my mind?”

“I didn’t have to read your mind for that,” Federico says calmly. “You are practically screaming it with the way you’re acting.”

Paulo shrugs and fiddles with the hem of his T-shirt. “I was fifteen,” he says. “The storms have just started, all the chaos… my father had a cottage in the mountains, so we ran there. It worked for a while, I mean, it was better to be far from the riots and fights and violent crowds. But then we started to run out of supplies.”

“I understand,” Federico says quietly. “One can’t hide forever.”

“We went to the city to try and pick up some supplies, or find a place to stay there, we were up for anything at that point. Another storm started when we were going down the road that led to the city, just at the outskirts. Our car broke down in the middle of the storm. It must have been the electricity, it was just dead all of a sudden. It happened to all the cars on that road. The drivers got out to see whether there was anything they could do. So did my father. I stayed in the car.” He closes his eyes and shuffles closer to Federico, almost on instinct. “Then I just remember the lightning hitting the car. The blinding light and the flash of heat, and that terrible noise of the thunder that followed. I curled up on the seat, I thought I was dying. I don’t know how long I stayed like that, but I didn’t move until the storm was over. Then I got out of the car and…”

He looks at Federico. It feels strange to actually talk to someone, to have someone listen to him. And he realizes that he’s never told this story to anyone. Simply because no one was willing to listen.

“Everyone on the road was dead. Everyone. Everyone that got out of their cars. But not me. Why not me?” He takes a deep breath and runs a hand through his hair. It’s the first time he’s spoken the question out loud. And for the first time in years, the tears start to flow. “I was in a car made of metal. Why was I not dead?”

“Do you want an explanation?” Federico asks quietly.

Paulo lifts his eyes to him.

“It’s called Faraday’s cage. The electricity slid down the car’s surface, and went to the ground. The car has tires, they’re made of rubber. You were in the safest place you could have been.”

Paulo keeps looking at him for a while. Then he hides his face and starts to sob like a little child.

~ ~ ~

Federico hesitates a few seconds before wrapping an arm around the boy’s shoulders. He’s not sure if he’s doing the right thing, it’s been a long time since he’s talked to a living person about anything else than business, but as it shows, things have not changed. Paulo even scoots closer to him.

“So since then, I’ve been on my own,” he says when he calms down a little bit. “I had to learn sneaky ways to get a place to sleep, to get food… until I ran out of the sneaky ways, and I ended up here.”

“I hope it’s not such a bad place to end up,” Federico smiles.

Paulo gives him a faint smile in return, like he is not so sure, but doesn’t want to offend him.

“How did you become a vampire?” he asks then, curiosity sparkling in his otherwise dim eyes.

“Simply. I asked a vampire to turn me.” Federico shrugs. He’s fine with changing the subject, he just doesn’t think of his story as exciting. But it’s probably different for a human.

“But why?”

Federico smiles. “I guess you could say out of greediness,” he says. “I was the younger of two brothers, and not my father’s favorite child, definitely. My older brother would get all the family heirloom, and I couldn’t say a thing against it. But I wasn’t willing to give up on it. And so I turned to an old friend of mine, with whom I had been doing about the same thing you came to me for in the first place. When your father doesn’t give you money for the things that interest young men, a vampire will.”

“But how did becoming a vampire help you?”

“Well, I went abroad and waited those necessary twenty years until my brother died… yellow fever conveniently took care of his heirs in the meanwhile… and I came back to take the family heirloom to myself. Not as myself, of course, but as my son, who looked so very much like his father… It functioned that way for centuries, until finally humans started to have other problems than the existence of vampires, and I could stop the game.”

“Do you regret it?” Paulo asks. “I mean… you can’t take it back, you’ll have to live forever…”

“Not yet. Maybe I will, one day.”

Paulo nods thoughtfully. Then he looks at Federico again. “If you want to… if you need to… you know…”

“Feed?” Federico smiles mischievously.

“Yeah,” Paulo nods. “Just… just tell me.”

Federico calmly takes another sip from his glass. “I will.”

Behind the windows, the storm is slowly fading away.


	4. Paulo and Federico

Paulo had thought that he would get bored of Federico’s house eventually, and that he would venture out sooner or later. He’s not used to staying in one place for long - he’s moved around all the time, because places would get destroyed, supplies would get scarce, and the street gangs would get wind of him, and that was never good. But he finds himself staying inside for days. And the longer he contents himself with the freedom of the house, the more the world outside looks dangerous and not worth the risk.

Federico leaves the house much more often than him, and Paulo prefers not to ask where he goes. Sometimes he returns late at night, and Paulo has his suspicions that vampires actually _need_ to feed more often, and Federico just doesn’t want to feed on _him_ , because then their contact would be quite short.

But then, as he also finds out, in the middle of the chaos, Federico still has his rituals and it seems like there is purpose behind everything he does. Sometimes he mentions meeting friends and business partners, and solving issues and running errands, which is something Paulo doesn’t remember ever doing himself.

Federico also brings back food and clothes and other stuff that Paulo would never be able to afford, or that he wouldn’t even come across. He wonders if vampires have their secret stash somewhere, or if they simply have enough money to afford it.

Common meals have slowly become a ritual as well. For Paulo, it’s strangely anchoring, it reminds him of his childhood, when meals were warm and eaten at the table, using cutlery. Not hidden somewhere in a decrepit house, in a hurry, with the thought that it might take days until he will get something to eat again.

“Remember when you said I should tell you when I’d need to feed?” Federico asks during lunch, in a casual tone, like it’s completely natural. It probably is for him.

“Yes.”

“I wondered if we could do it tonight.”

Paulo gulps, but then he recomposes himself. _It wasn’t that bad last time_ , he tells himself, _and it’s worth all this_. “Yeah… yeah, sure,” he says.

“But if you’re not feeling well, or…” Federico starts, and Paulo actually wonders if he would let him off so easily.

But then, does he want to be in one house with a hungry vampire?

“No, it’s fine,” he assures him.

“Great,” Federico smiles.

Paulo forces himself to smile as well. He will get used to it. He has to get used to it.

~ ~ ~

The fire is crackling in the fireplace and the air smells of wood and strong tea. Paulo feels like he’s fallen through some hole and landed in a different century. Federico’s house is like a museum, every now and then he comes across something that most likely doesn’t exist anymore, anywhere else.

“What is that?” he asks when Federico pours the tea into painted porcelain cups. Paulo has just learned not to be afraid to touch them, after Federico assured him that they used to belong to his aunt, and he hated that aunt.

Federico smiles and looks at the thing Paulo is examining. “Oh, that? That’s a wind-up gramophone. A really old one, that doesn’t require electricity.”

“What is a gramophone?”

“It plays music,” Federico says and reaches for something under the small table that the gramophone is perched up on. He pulls out a paper case, and shows Paulo a black disc. “From these. Vinyl records.”

“Oh,” Paulo says. “Like… it still does? I mean… does it still work?”

Federico looks a bit offended. “Of course!” he says. “Just because something is over a hundred years old doesn’t mean it can’t work!”

He puts the record on and does a sequence of movements that are so automatic that it’s obvious that he’s done them a thousand times before. There is a crackling sound, and then music starts playing.

Paulo doesn’t remember when he last heard music. It had to be when he was a child, before electricity became too valuable to be wasted on things like music and movies. There was soon only static to be heard and seen on TV and on the radio anyways. So many things suddenly stopped making sense.

Federico holds out his hand. Paulo stares at him for a moment, and then starts to laugh.

“I can’t dance,” he says.

“Neither can I,” Federico smiles. “Luckily, nobody can see us here.”

Federico’s embrace is almost warm. It’s that strange feeling Paulo has whenever they touch. Everything is _almost_ about Federico, it’s the strange state of being and not being, real and unreal, alive and dead.

The music is slow, the lyrics make no sense to Paulo, because they are in English, and he’s never been good at it. Federico’s hand moves up Paulo’s spine, and then he touches his cheek and makes him look right in Federico’s eyes.

“You can trust me,” Federico whispers. “Can I trust you?”

Paulo takes a breath, but he doesn’t know what to say. He’s never trusted anyone, he’s never had anyone who would trust him. He almost doesn’t know what trust means.

_Can he trust a vampire? Can he himself be trusted? Can he trust himself?_

He nods hesitantly. It’s less of an affirmation and more of a desire, but Federico doesn’t seem to mind. He holds Paulo close, and it’s almost comforting, almost nice.

When Federico sinks his teeth in his neck, he almost doesn’t notice.

~ ~ ~

Federico is flipping through his old documents, trying to find old pictures of him that he had promised to show Paulo, when there is a knock on the door. Paulo lifts his head from where he is looking at Federico’s family tree.

“You’re expecting someone?” he asks.

“No,” Federico sighs. “But I know who knocks like this.”

He walks to the door and unlocks it. Andrea gives him a strange look.

“Since when do you lock your door?” he asks. “Are you afraid of humans now?”

“No,” Federico says, letting him in. “But humans are afraid of humans.”

Andrea turns to him with a question in his eyes, but before he can speak it, he spots Paulo standing in the middle of the salon.

“This is Paulo,” Federico says. “Paulo, this is Andrea.”

Andrea gives him a disapproving glance, but then he shakes Paulo’s hand. Manners are manners.

“ _Paulo_ doesn’t explain much,” he notes. “I suppose that Paulo now lives here?”

“He does,” Federico says. “It’s a long story.”

“We both have enough time, I would say,” Andrea comments dryly. “Paulo, if you wouldn’t mind to…”

“Sure,” Paulo says, apparently relieved that he is not going to be a part of the conversation.

Federico smiles apologetically, but Paulo truly doesn’t seem to mind. He closes the door behind him, and judging by the sounds, disappears upstairs in his bedroom.

“Federico, really?” Andrea sighs. “Again?”

“This is different,” Federico says.

“Is it? Or do you just _want_ it to be different?”

Federico sits in his armchair. “It is. Or… I believe it can be different. I don’t know… yet.”

Andrea runs a hand over his face. Sometimes, he looks so weary that Federico wonders if the years are going to get to him eventually as well. He doesn’t remember him like this from the time they first met, he also doesn’t remember him being so mistrustful with humans. When he got to know him, Andrea was fun to be around, and when he asked him to turn him, he didn’t see it as a big deal. He even laughed at Federico’s mad plan to get his family heirloom. Federico is quite sure he wouldn’t do it now even if he begged him.

“So what is it about? Just exclusive bloodsucking, or…”

“Just that,” Federico says. “For now. I mean… I don’t want to scare the boy.”

“Oh. So bloodsucking doesn’t scare him, but affection would,” Andrea notes, and he looks mildly curious now. “Seriously, what have you picked off the street now, Federico?”

“He’s had some traumatic past, and I think he’s not used to… you know… safety and nice things being just given to him,” Federico says. “For him, everything has a price.”

“Then he’s smarter than you are,” Andrea comments dryly. “Because everything _does_ have a price. Or you want to tell me that if he doesn’t reciprocate your affection, you’ll let him live here for free anyway?”

Federico lifts his eyes to him. “You don’t know him,” he says.

“No, neither do you,” Andrea says calmly. “I just don’t want you to get hurt, Federico, like many times before. People are not stray dogs that will be grateful and loyal to you forever if you pick them off the street. Especially not now. They’ll walk away as soon as you can’t give them what they want.”

“I can give him what he wants.”

“And that’s exactly what is wrong with this,” Andrea sighs.


	5. Paulo

In the days following Andrea’s visit, Paulo senses that Federico is approaching him more carefully. It’s hard to notice with the amount of politeness and manners, but he seems to be more wary about what he says or does, and about what Paulo says or does.

He also leaves the house more often than before, and doesn’t tell Paulo where he goes. Not like Paulo wants to know. He’s fine on his own, playing music on the gramophone, reading books from the library or flipping through old documents and pictures. He’s used to spending time alone.

There is a loud knock on the door just mere minutes after Federico leaves. Paulo opens the door, because nobody said he couldn’t. Andrea is standing behind the door, and he walks in without Paulo inviting him. Well, Paulo supposes that vampires only need to be invited once, if the legends are true. He can’t say that he’s happy to see him, though. There is something about Andrea, some vibe that he can’t quite pick up, but he knows that it scares him.

“Federico is not here,” he says.

“I know,” Andrea nods. “I’ve come to see you, not him.”

Paulo nods, although he has no idea why Andrea would want to talk to him.

“Look, let’s be honest,” Andrea says and sits in the armchair opposite to Paulo. “I get your reasons to be here. I just don’t think that you know what you’re getting into.”

“I know what Federico is,” Paulo objects.

“I don’t think you have the slightest idea of what we really are,” Andrea says. “Federico might be a gentleman, but he is one of us. And there is a certain side a vampire can’t hide.”

“I didn’t mean that I was buying into everything Federico tells me,” Paulo replies calmly and looks Andrea in the eyes. “I know that there are things he’s not telling me, and that what I see is some role he’s learned to play for people like me.”

Andrea looks surprised in a way. “Oh,” he says. “I was right. You are smarter than you show. Smarter than Federico thinks you are. It’s ridiculous, really. The two of you pretend to be something else than you really are, for each other’s sake. Don’t you think it’s time to stop?”

Paulo shrugs. “Federico would never,” he says. “He thinks I’d run away. He’ll suck a few drops of my blood to make it look like I’m paying him, and then run off to feed somewhere else.”

Andrea chuckles. “Of course,” he says. “That’s Federico. The vampire gentleman. Well, if he won’t put an end to it, I will.”

Paulo feels his pulse rise. “How?”

“I’ll show you what we really are,” Andrea says. “Either you will truly run away, or Federico will see that you won’t, even if you know the truth. That’s only fair, isn’t it?”

“But… how will you show me?”

“We’re meeting tonight,” Andrea says. “Federico, me, and a couple friends and acquaintances. A vampire gentleman’s club, you could call it, I guess. When Federico leaves, I’ll take you there. Show you our real world.”

Paulo doesn’t say anything, replaying the words in his mind once again, trying to find some hidden meaning.

“How does that sound?” Andrea asks.

“Like something Federico won’t like,” Paulo says.

“He won’t,” Andrea nods. “But he will understand. And he’s got nothing to fear, does he?”

“Do _I_ have anything to fear?” Paulo asks and looks Andrea in the eyes.

“Don’t worry,” Andrea smirks. “I’m not saying we will be having a party without snacks, but you’re excluded.”

Paulo smirks as well. He even appreciates the dark humor.

“I’ll pick you up,” Andrea says and gets up. “If you don’t change your mind.”

~ ~ ~

As for Federico’s reaction, Paulo’s guess was absolutely correct. Federico seems to pale when he walks in, if it’s possible in his case, and then he turns to Andrea with a furious glance.

“What is he doing here?”

“I invited him,” Andrea says calmly, and chuckles at Federico’s expression. “To watch, of course.”

There’s still immense betrayal in Federico’s face. “Why?”

“Because he should know the whole truth.”

The room is large, and it reminds Paulo of the bars or clubs in old movies. It’s not exactly crowded, but the amount of vampires around makes for an unsettling atmosphere. It’s only after Andrea introduces him to everyone that he realizes he’s not the only human in the room.

“I told you,” Andrea smirks when Paulo glances at the terrified blond boy on the sofa, and the vampire next to him, whose fingers are exploring his neck, same as Federico did with Paulo the first time. “We’re not having a party without snacks.”

“But he’s not… willing to do that, is he?” Paulo asks.

“You sold your own blood,” Andrea says. “Some people sell other people’s blood now. I guess it’s one of the things Federico wants to protect you from.”

The boy finds Paulo’s eyes, silently asking him for help when the vampire sinks his teeth in his neck. After all, Paulo is the only other human in the room, and humans should stick together. Paulo knows that they should. But suddenly he can’t find any other reason to help him, and this one seems like too little to risk everything he has.

He breaks the eye contact.

“It’s disgusting,” Federico says, turning his sight away from the scene as well.

“It’s business,” the vampire Andrea had introduced as Cristiano, says. “Or you want to tell me people weren’t selling other people’s kidneys before? How is it different?”

“It’s not different, but both is illegal,” Federico retorts. “And disgusting.”

“There are hardly any judges now,” Cristiano scoffs. “And nobody forces you to buy any of it. You can choose to die. Or pay insane money to humans to keep you alive, while you look like a gentleman. I prefer to invest my money more wisely. The strong feed on the weak, it’s natural.”

Federico just shakes his head. Cristiano jumps off the barstool elegantly and stalks closer to the sofa.

“Cristiano is a modern vampire,” Andrea says with a hint of disgust in his voice, but it’s clear that his intention is to calm down the situation. “Not modern the way Federico is, Federico is just trying too hard and he thinks that tattoos and earrings will do the trick, but he still dusts his Renaissance paintings and hugs his wind-up gramophone secretly.”

“Hey!” Federico laughs. “I don’t _hug_ it!”

“But Cristiano actually joined us in… what was the year?”

“Nineteen twenty-nine,” Cristiano says. “The stock market just crashed, and I thought it was the best way out. Not the best judgment, really. What was happening then was actually fine compared to today’s world. Right, darling? You agree with me, don’t you?”

The boy whimpers when Cristiano caresses his face briefly before turning his head the other way and finding a clean spot to get a bite. Paulo can’t tear his eyes from the scene now. It’s so terrifying that it’s almost fascinating. The air in the room seems to be thick and heavy.

“If you wanted to scare him, Andrea, it didn’t work,” Cristiano smirks, glancing at his fingers, stained red, and then smearing the blood on Paulo’s cheek with his thumb. “Look at him. Almost one of us already.”

~ ~ ~

They return home in silence. Federico looks hurt, and Paulo almost regrets agreeing to Andrea’s plan. As he watches Federico pour himself a drink and sit in his favorite armchair, he wonders if he didn’t cross some invisible boundary.

“Are you not going to run away?” Federico asks quietly when Paulo sits on the sofa.

“Why?” Paulo asks.

“Because of what you’ve seen tonight.”

“I’ve seen worse.”

Federico looks at him and smiles. Paulo feels the shift in the atmosphere, though, and it occurs to him that this is the time he has to make a move if he doesn’t want to lose the game. He slides off the sofa and shifts closer to Federico’s armchair on his knees.

“Cristiano was right,” he says, laying his forearms on Federico’s knees and looking up at him. “You don’t scare me.”

Federico inhales sharply when Paulo takes the glass from his hand and sets it on the floor.

“I don’t know what you’re afraid of,” he says. “But you don’t have to be afraid with me.”

“That sounds strange,” Federico smiles. “From…”

“A human to a vampire?” Paulo grins and climbs up into the armchair. “I know.”

Federico touches his face right where it’s stained with the blood, only half-heartedly, like he’s afraid Paulo will recoil from the touch. When he doesn’t, he pulls him closer and buries his face in the crook of Paulo’s neck, inhaling Paulo’s scent.

“Now I don’t know if you want to kiss me or bite me,” Paulo chuckles.

“Maybe both,” Federico mumbles.

Paulo closes his eyes briefly and then aligns their faces.

“Can we start with the former?” he asks.

Federico nods, wrapping his arms around Paulo when he finds a comfortable spot in Federico’s lap. 

“I was hoping you’d stay,” he whispers against Paulo’s lips.

Paulo smiles, feeling his heart beating regularly again. “I was hoping you’d let me stay,” he says.


	6. Federico

The storm behind the window starts to pick up strength, but Paulo doesn’t wake up. Federico turns his head to look at him, the peaceful expression on his face, the messy hair splayed on the pillow, the unblemished skin of his naked back. His curves have started to get softer, less sharp edges and visible bones. There is a beauty mark on his right cheek, right where the ladies in the times of Federico’s youth would paint it with charcoal. Federico feels like he can never get enough of that sight, of Paulo’s boyish face, the eternal youth some men possess. It is an illusion, of course. There is only one way to eternal youth. 

When he runs his hand through Paulo’s hair, the boy doesn’t stir. This has never happened before. The slightest sound or touch could wake him up - an instinct, or rather conditioned reflex. So much has changed tonight. It was almost like magic, crossing some invisible boundary. In theory, it truly was. The boundary was there, the boundary of two different worlds that weren’t in essence suppose to mingle, and they had to meet somewhere in between because none could cross into the other’s realm.

Federico could tell it was Paulo’s first time, although Paulo didn’t say anything, and he wouldn’t probably ever admit it. There was some clumsiness in his moves, and surprise in his reactions. If he had any idea of what he’d been doing, it was a very general one.

It is understandable, though. In the world outside, there is no place for love.

When Federico thinks back to his past loves, he can’t remember anyone like Paulo. Certainly not in the past two hundred years. In the modern world, innocence was rare as pearls, and Federico missed it so much it almost physically hurt. In a way, Paulo was the cure for it.

A loud thunder sounds behind the window, more like an explosion followed by a crackling, hissing sound, and Paulo jolts up.

“It’s okay,” Federico whispers and reaches for him. “You’re safe.”

For the first time, the trigger word doesn’t work. Paulo twists himself free from Federico’s embrace, struggling with the blanket, his legs all tangled in it. He reaches for the night robe on the armchair next to the bed and puts it on, walking to the window slowly.

Federico falls back in the pillows, watching him. Paulo looks out of the window. The lightnings are crossing the sky, creating deadly cobwebs ready to trap the city. On the horizon, the sky is already lit by the orange flames of yet another fire.

“It doesn’t feel right,” Paulo whispers.

“What doesn’t feel right?” Federico asks.

“Being here,” Paulo says. “When I should be out there.”

“Why should you be out there?”

“Because that’s where I belong,” Paulo says and turns around to face him. “Because I’m a human. And that’s where humans are. The only reason I’m not out there dying right now is that I let you take me to your bed tonight.”

Federico shakes his head. “That’s not true.”

“What’s another reason, then?” Paulo asks. “What’s the difference between me and that boy your friends killed yesterday?”

“So that’s what it’s about?” Federico asks quietly. “You said we didn’t scare you, you said you didn’t want to leave because of what you saw there.”

“You don’t scare me and I don’t want to leave because of it. I’m asking what’s the reason I’m here and not there, other than me sleeping with you. Because I felt like I had to do that if I wanted to stay. If I didn’t want to be just another human your friends called snack.”

Federico takes a deep breath. “I don’t think this is the right moment to have this conversation,” he says.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s all very fresh for you, and you’re emotional. It’s understandable, but…”

Paulo laughs. “Look, I’m not sixteen and I’m not crying over losing my virginity,” he says. “I’ve had plenty of time to decide what I do with it.”

“But you’re talking about it like it’s a commodity.”

“Because it is!” Paulo shouts at him. “Like everything else! It is, out there. Maybe it’s different in your world, because you _do_ live in a different world. I do admit it, why don’t you? That’s all I’m asking. You took me in and offered me a deal, and I agreed to that deal.”

Federico nods. “Yes.”

“This was not a part of it, and I still felt like I had to do it if I wanted to stay. That giving you my blood wasn’t enough. Because you clearly don’t need it. You could do it the way your friends do it. Why keep me?”

“I’m sorry you felt that way,” Federico whispers. He’s not only sorry, it’s breaking his heart, actually.

Paulo nods slowly. “This Is not right,” he says then. “I can’t do this to you, and I shouldn’t be doing it to myself. There’s a reason for everything, there’s a reason for what’s happening out there, and the least we can do is to stop lying to ourselves.”

He leaves the room before Federico can take a breath. Federico covers his face with his hands. He feels stupid, even more so that he just took a scolding from a boy who is hundreds of years younger than him, and rightfully so. All because he let Andrea get inside his head again, and put those doubts in there. He moped around worrying about Paulo leaving him so much that he made the boy feel like he needed to up his game to earn the right to stay.

All it would take to prevent this was finally sending Andrea to hell, which he should have done hundreds of years ago, and admitting his feelings to Paulo. Telling him it wasn’t about any deal, that he indeed didn’t need his blood, that he was indeed special to Federico.

But he let that seed of doubt make him hold his tongue, and ruin everything.

There’s a muffled sound from downstairs, and Federico startles. It’s the sound of the front door closing, and it can only mean one thing.

Federico jumps up and throws his clothes on as fast as he can. As he runs down the stairs, he knows that his heart would be beating madly in his chest if it was still beating at all. He opens the door and runs out, looking around, but there’s no trace of Paulo anywhere. More horrifyingly, the storm is still raging. Considering Paulo’s fear of the storms, at any other time, it would seem like an irrational thing to do. Except now, Federico realizes that Paulo has decided to play a game with Death, to settle the matters with it.

“Paulo!” Federico calls, but there’s no answer. The chance of Paulo hearing him over the constant thunder is close to zero anyway.

Federico curses under his breath. He runs out to the street, but it’s empty. No one would go outside now. And while Federico doesn’t need to fear he would die, he still realizes that looking for Paulo now is not a good idea. If he’s got at least a bit of common sense, he’s found a shelter somewhere to wait the storm out. He knows the ways, he’d been doing it for a long time, and he has that advantage over Federico.

But he can't just return home now. Not alone.

~ ~ ~

Federico roams the city for long hours. It’s the loneliest he’s ever felt, and maybe it’s not just the empty streets that make it look like the world has finally ended.

Finally, he ends up on the outskirts of the city, where there is nothing but the remnants of an old dam that used to belong to the power plant. That have been destroyed a long time ago, perhaps in the very first storm, and the whole area has become useless.

Suddenly, Federico remembers that Paulo mentioned it to him once. He used to use one of the buildings as his hideout. Since there was nothing valuable to take, no one ever went there, the buildings were strongly built which allowed them to withstand the storms, and Paulo also liked the irony of it.

He must like it even better now. _End it where it all began._

Federico runs around the bank of the dam, towards the compound. It’s larger than he had thought, but only the smaller buildings further from the reactors seem to be somewhat accessible. He follows his instincts now. He’s read Paulo’s mind a couple times, not nearly enough, as he was trying not to - out of respect, perhaps even out of fear of what he would find there. But every time he reads someone’s mind, it leaves an imprint in his own. Even if it’s as faint as it is now, it somehow helps.

He sees the building in his mind before he sees it in reality, but when he finds it, the two images don’t match.

The building is on fire.

For a moment, he feels like it’s madness. But something’s pulling him in.

He calls Paulo’s name, but then realizes that Paulo couldn’t hear him anyway. He’s never realized the fire could be so loud. He’s going on instinct now, navigating the building rather blindly, because the smoke makes it hard to see even for someone who sees better in the dark than humans do.

The room where he finds Paulo is so odd that he would never consciously make the choice to look in there. It’s tiled, like an old washroom, and completely empty. No windows either, which kind of explains Paulo’s choice.

He scoops Paulo up and runs back through the halls that are filling with smoke. Considering the state of the building, it won’t be long until the roof gives in.

When he lays him down on the concrete outside, Paulo coughs violently. Federico helps him turn to the side, and he’s half-holding him, half-comforting him while Paulo dry-heaves, breathing in as much of the humid air he can. Maybe breathing in the air above the dam isn’t healthy either, but it’s better than nothing.

“You could have died,” Federico says, and immediately feels stupid. Like Paulo doesn’t know that. “Let’s go home.”

For a moment, he feels like Paulo would protest if he had the strength. And a tiny part of Federico is grateful that he can’t. A tiny, sick part of him actually likes the rag doll he can take home and take care of.

And he’s not even ashamed of it.

~ ~ ~

Paulo falls asleep the moment Federico lays him in bed. It gives Federico enough time to stew in his own thoughts. Even if he believes Paulo’s words, even if his nature doesn’t scare him, even if the world Andrea showed him in hopes of scaring him away… Federico’s nature is still the barrier between them.

Paulo feels like he’s betraying his own kind. In Andrea’s opinion, they both are reversing the natural order of things. Humans are supposed to be prey, vampires are supposed to feed on them, not protect them, or love them. Federico could never adopt this way of thinking, and felt like the fellow vampires had no right to mock him for it.

_They were human once._

But after tonight, he realizes that he can’t let Paulo go, and if there is a barrier between them, he will destroy it. He can’t change what he is, he knows it well.

But he can change what Paulo is.


End file.
